Life in a Hamster Cage

As you know we are microscopic. The Evil G has locked us in a hamster cage - come to think of it, where did he get the hamster cage? He hasn't got a hamster!

yeh he has i sa it insid da darlek

Back to the darlek again. Pass some of that lettece.

urr......

Look, it's the only food we've got and--

wel da it was da last fod wi had

No it isn't - what about that hamster food over there?

i eat it

Mooney. What have I told you about eating too much? I suppose we could always eat the bedding. . .

dat is mud

Wait a minute, you know last night when there was a horrid smell and suddenly all this "mud" appeared - that was you wasn't it.

ar yu talken abot primeval?

No. Unless you haven't noticed, we haven't had access to a TV since beofre Gwith turned evil. I haven't seen a TV for what seems like years. . .

da guad let me wach som tv

What?! Hey. . .*Miranda lowers her voice to a whisper* D'ya reckon that guard is on our side?

no

Oh.

welurr i fink we better go to orlas now *ring ring* oh it is for yu miran

Hello? ..................... Dr Hope! Miss Glory!......................... Thank goodness!...........What do you mean....................What?! Oh...................ok...............Why do I need a banana? ................. Fine .....................Huh? .....................Oh ok fair enough .............. When will you come to try and rescue us? ............... THREE WEEKS?! HOW CAN WE WAIT THAT LONG!!!! Oh sorry, I thought you said three WEEKS.................. yeah............................... ok we'll be ready............ we will jus have to go without the banana becuase we haven't got one. Ok, see you then...........bye. *Miranda hangs up* They are coming to rescue us with an over allaborate plan that involves a banana, an empty barrel, a piece of garlic, three gold bars, 7 cosmic runes, 2 fire runes, a hammer-- wait a minute - this is my Runescape quest list. . . Wait. . . Ah ha! Here's the list I made earlier. . .

i is goin to hang miself i am so bord

No! Don't do that! We must be strong! And anyway, the plan won't work without you. Anyway, here's what we're going to need.............




*a few minutes later*




wi do we need a pot of edlerflor

I don't know, ask Dr Hope and Miss Glory. They sounded as if they knew what they were doing. . . I hope they do. I was juswt wondering why we need a banana, pot of elder flower and a picnic basket myself actually. . .

o wel anyway i hat don stewpid post byu by

Yes, we must fly dear ones! Got things to do!

*Miranda jumps heroicly into the hamster wheel. . . .*



yu not goin anywhere


Oh.

*Miranda gets out of the hamster wheel*

Brainwave!

helo it is me agin and i is stil stuck in de sel wif dis stewpid mirand

Hey! I'm not stupid! You're the stupid one for trying to get us outa here by blowing up the boiler!

dat was yur folt

How is it my fault? I was against the stupid plan from the start! Who was it who asked the gaurd to get him a stick of dynitmite?

my invisbl friwnd

I've heard it all now. . . Hey, come to think of it - how come the gaurd at the door just handed us a stick of dynitmite when we asked? How come he had one in his pocket? AND WHY DID THE GAURD LOOK DIFFERENT TO ALL THE OTHERS?!

shtu up i am tring to lisen

Listen to what?! There's nothing to listen to in this pointless, stupid, smelly boiler room! If you can call it that seeing as someone blew up the boiler.

i did dat beecoz bi bloing up da boler i got som wires

And how are wires gunno help this sticky situation?

i hav my ipod

Oh great! Joy of joys! We have an ipod!!! ALL BOW TO THE IPOD THAT'S GOING TO SAVE US!

wel not eggsackly da ipod is rechageing

Oh. Great. Fantastic. Hey, if you've had this ipod the whole time, how come we haven't had anything to listen to?

dat is da reson wi we is not lisening to anythink

Hmph. I jolly well hope that Orlaigh and Mad Monkey hurry up and save us. I can't believe my own BROTHER is threatening to kill us OVER A LIFE TIMES SUPPLY OF STUPID BLOODY GOGOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey git it has rechageed and yu is not lisening

WHAT?! CAN LIFE GET ANY --

SHHHHHH i is tring to lisen


HERE IS WHAT THEY HEARD

SO HADES ARE THEY LOCKED UP SAFELY IN THE BOILER ROOM

Yes zey are. The guard changes every hour.

WHY EVERY HOUR WHY NOT EVERY DAY?

Becuase, when we did change it every day the guard fell asleep on ze job. So now we change it every MINUTE razther than every day.

OH WELL UM SO HAVE YOU GOT MESSY MONKEY, CHEEKY MONKEY AND PINKY MONKEY LOCKED UP?

Of Course sir. We will deal wiz zem later. . .

. . . . . . .

O!

m!

G! They've got Cheeky, Messy and Pinky locked up too! Orlaigh is going to have to be one brave and clever girl to rescue everyone!

o wel

And Mad Monkey of course.

hm yes *ring ring* o helo?.............. mad monkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!........wat?...........oh dam.............mirand

. . .Whaaaat. . .?

orla and mi cosin hav ben cat bi da police for steling

Oh *Miranda utters a digusting swear word which the guard at the door turns round at*

go away yu gurd

Sorry Sir. *The Guard turns away*

What are we going to now? Orlaigh and Mad Monkey were our only hope!

hey stop dis bloggie now cuz mi fone creditt is runing owt

*DUN DUN DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAAAAA*

and yu shut up aswel

Stuck in the sell (mircoscopic)

we is stuk in du sel

Well, duh, I mean Gwithian isn't going to just let us out is he?

shut up you menie

Hey! I don't like this either, you know. . . Right that is it. We are going to break out.

how

Bash the door down! Duh!

how do we do dat yu div we is micoscuic (mircoscopic) hey yu spel cheker stop cheking me

He is just doing his job. . .

i hat him

So? What has that got to do with this?!

i hav no ider

Oh well. . .Hey. . .what happened with the darlek? I thought you got caputured?

i hat crismas

Oh no!! The darlek is the same as Hades!!!!

yes yu finaly worked it owt no?

Well, yes but--

yu div

What's a div?

yu ar

Hmm............Hey, what did the darlek do to you?

he tok me and droped gwif and lafed and seid haha you ar in mi powwer no and de darlek through me in what happend to yu

Well, one day Gwithian just knocked me out when I was on Runescape. . .or was I checking my emails?

get on wif it yu div

Where does div come from anyway?

i hav no ider

OK...... anyway I woke up in here. . .

wo....i fansy a chcolat ba

Do you now? Well I think - AHHHH!!!----------------------------------


THEY WERE CUT OFF AS MIRANDAS PHONE CREDIT RAN OUT.
THEIR LIFE MAYBE OVER..