Miranda: We were running down the corridor! All of us - Mooney, Mad Monkey, Orlaigh, Miss Glory and Dr Hope (and me) having just escaped from the cell--
Mooney: no yu git we ar waking don da corideor
Miranda: Well you are! Everyone else is running.
Miss Glory: I'm not
Orlaigh: No, she isn't.
MM: yesh
Miranda: This is a very silly thing to stop walking for. We gotta get out of here other wise we will all be caught a suffer some terrible fate!
Orlaigh: By the way, congrats on being not-microscpoic.
Dr Hope: That was us - that was what the eldarflower, honey, picnic basket and banana was for.
Mooney: i se any mor questins befor we cary on?
Random old man:Yes! i want to know whats become of all that crispy bacon we had before the war eh? whats become! poor crisp! bang! *funeral music*
MM: wel dat was sily
*At this point the colour department quit the job becuase they they said they weren't being paid well enough*
Miranda: Come on we have to go! Before the Evil G catches--
Evil G: HAHA! I FOUND YOU! YOU DID NOT SEE MY CAMERAS? *the group look around at the walls, they are glissening with cameras*
Orlaigh: What a bummer. The whole plan was so carefully thought out we didn't put in the small factor of cameras. Fab.
Evil G: YES HAH! WHAT?
Wombat: well hello! i am wombat evans and this is plinky!
Plinky: yay! sorry we thought we'ed test out are new robot gwith on you but it malfunteced and it killed alot of people
Wombat: but still we need to ungag gwtih from our boiler room....
Plinky: soz.
Miranda: You mean to say that. . .
Orlaigh: That is a fake Gwithian.
Miranda: So we have been runnign around all over the place becuase a robot kidnapped me and Mooney?
*Plinky and Wombat open the back of Gwith's "head" to show and mass of wires all tangles and bleeping*
Wombat: we are sorry that we blew up the royal animal hospital but we will pay for it to be built again
Orlaigh: I'm not sure it's that simple.
Miranda: My brother's a robot. . .
Dr Hope: Actually, he's not - that a robot version of him
Orlaigh: Shut up Dr Hope.
Plinky: well this is going in the bin! *plinky and wombat bring out sledge hammers and smash it to a pulp*
Miranda: I can't belive this! Months and months of blogger plotlines in which Gwithian turned out to be Evil and kidnapped me and Mooney and then Orlaigh and Mad Monkey try to rescue us but get thrown into jail in the process then it turns out Hope and Glory have a plan and get Orlaigh and MM out of jail and come up with an eleborate plan to rescue us and it all turns out that Plinky and Wombat built and robot that went wild and that the real Gwithain is bound and gagged in a boiler room somewhere.
Wombat: yes well, you know that guard? that was me and plinky standing on top of eachother! hey you know when the guard fell down and crashed and there was some loud screams! thatwas us i sneezed and plinky fell over!
Miranda: I thought there was something fishy about that guard. . .
Wombat:yes well plinky had had lunch at fishy king and fish donualds so he smelt of fish all the way
Plinky: Hey! you had fish too you knwo! you had fish and chips!
Miss Glory: Wait a minute, what about the Crazy Professer? Where does he come into this?
Wombat: what crazy professer? hang on... plinky what were you saying about that giant dol you got... oh no
Plinky: oh him i stuck my hamsters in him he is a robot too!
Miranda: So the Crazy Professer is just too hamsters?!
Plinky: yep there both boys.
Miss Glory: Ooh, single?
Wombat: yep single and ready for you. . .
Dr Hope and Miss Glory: OOH! *Hope and Glory get out their hand held mirrors and start applying makeup*
Wombat: hmm wel; me and plinky won't be makin any more machines wel we plinky? plinky?
*plinky is trying to make a kind of vacum out of the bits of gwith*
Wombat: nooooooooooooo!!! *wombat smashes it to a pulp*
Plinky: Oh ok....
Miranda: Can we get out of here? I know all the enemy have turned out to be robots but this place makes me shiver. . .
Orlaigh: Why are there over 3000 cells if you two were the only prisoners?
Miranda: Don't ask me.
Plinky: urrr there wern't it an optical islosion that agent g made for us
Miranda: I've heard it all now. Hey, Orlaigh - do you reckon this could be a dream? And in just minutes one of us will wake up and exclaim "What a terrible dream!"?
Orlaigh: I don't know. I'm starting to think anything is possible. I mean, someone who has experianced taking gerbils, Evil Robots, Jail, a plan with elderflower involved, thousands of cameras and a vat of wax must have--
Wombat: oh orlaigh that vat of wax was actually ice cream
Orlaigh: --Vat of ice creams must have been mad to even start being an agent to a Monkey.
MM: wel i fink pinky and wombt ar ver stewpid
Wombat: well actually your the stupid one could you make a robot of gwithian?
Dr Hope: Now, now boys break it up.
Miss Glory: Yeah, come on Hope, we have to get back to Phoebe and Matilda before they realize we're gone!
Dr Hope: And we have to get thaat golden onion back to HQ
Miss Glory: See ya!
*the Gerbils dash off round the corner*
Plinky: wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME LOOK AT THAT GOLDEN ONIEN hmmm stand bakc!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hades: ah zo you have found my cover.
Wombat: Plinky!
Plinky: yes?
Wombat: Sledge hammers!!!!!!!!!!!!! *bang bang bang bang*
*hades is sitting there a normal dog barking cheerfully at orlaigh*
Orlaigh: I never thought I'd feel sorry for that dog. Can we rename him, MM?
MM: ur no i am mm and i not having dog caled mm
Wombat: nah she means rename him somthing else like bernard
Miranda: Not Bernard! How about. . . . . . . .Winky?
Plinky: mmm..... yeah i like that now that is the end
They all lived happily ever
Darlek: Exterminate
Wombat: doh!
The End
Sunday, 3 May 2009
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Life in a Hamster Cage
As you know we are microscopic. The Evil G has locked us in a hamster cage - come to think of it, where did he get the hamster cage? He hasn't got a hamster!
yeh he has i sa it insid da darlek
Back to the darlek again. Pass some of that lettece.
urr......
Look, it's the only food we've got and--
wel da it was da last fod wi had
No it isn't - what about that hamster food over there?
i eat it
Mooney. What have I told you about eating too much? I suppose we could always eat the bedding. . .
dat is mud
Wait a minute, you know last night when there was a horrid smell and suddenly all this "mud" appeared - that was you wasn't it.
ar yu talken abot primeval?
No. Unless you haven't noticed, we haven't had access to a TV since beofre Gwith turned evil. I haven't seen a TV for what seems like years. . .
da guad let me wach som tv
What?! Hey. . .*Miranda lowers her voice to a whisper* D'ya reckon that guard is on our side?
no
Oh.
welurr i fink we better go to orlas now *ring ring* oh it is for yu miran
Hello? ..................... Dr Hope! Miss Glory!......................... Thank goodness!...........What do you mean....................What?! Oh...................ok...............Why do I need a banana? ................. Fine .....................Huh? .....................Oh ok fair enough .............. When will you come to try and rescue us? ............... THREE WEEKS?! HOW CAN WE WAIT THAT LONG!!!! Oh sorry, I thought you said three WEEKS.................. yeah............................... ok we'll be ready............ we will jus have to go without the banana becuase we haven't got one. Ok, see you then...........bye. *Miranda hangs up* They are coming to rescue us with an over allaborate plan that involves a banana, an empty barrel, a piece of garlic, three gold bars, 7 cosmic runes, 2 fire runes, a hammer-- wait a minute - this is my Runescape quest list. . . Wait. . . Ah ha! Here's the list I made earlier. . .
i is goin to hang miself i am so bord
No! Don't do that! We must be strong! And anyway, the plan won't work without you. Anyway, here's what we're going to need.............
*a few minutes later*
wi do we need a pot of edlerflor
I don't know, ask Dr Hope and Miss Glory. They sounded as if they knew what they were doing. . . I hope they do. I was juswt wondering why we need a banana, pot of elder flower and a picnic basket myself actually. . .
o wel anyway i hat don stewpid post byu by
Yes, we must fly dear ones! Got things to do!
*Miranda jumps heroicly into the hamster wheel. . . .*
yu not goin anywhere
Oh.
*Miranda gets out of the hamster wheel*
yeh he has i sa it insid da darlek
Back to the darlek again. Pass some of that lettece.
urr......
Look, it's the only food we've got and--
wel da it was da last fod wi had
No it isn't - what about that hamster food over there?
i eat it
Mooney. What have I told you about eating too much? I suppose we could always eat the bedding. . .
dat is mud
Wait a minute, you know last night when there was a horrid smell and suddenly all this "mud" appeared - that was you wasn't it.
ar yu talken abot primeval?
No. Unless you haven't noticed, we haven't had access to a TV since beofre Gwith turned evil. I haven't seen a TV for what seems like years. . .
da guad let me wach som tv
What?! Hey. . .*Miranda lowers her voice to a whisper* D'ya reckon that guard is on our side?
no
Oh.
welurr i fink we better go to orlas now *ring ring* oh it is for yu miran
Hello? ..................... Dr Hope! Miss Glory!......................... Thank goodness!...........What do you mean....................What?! Oh...................ok...............Why do I need a banana? ................. Fine .....................Huh? .....................Oh ok fair enough .............. When will you come to try and rescue us? ............... THREE WEEKS?! HOW CAN WE WAIT THAT LONG!!!! Oh sorry, I thought you said three WEEKS.................. yeah............................... ok we'll be ready............ we will jus have to go without the banana becuase we haven't got one. Ok, see you then...........bye. *Miranda hangs up* They are coming to rescue us with an over allaborate plan that involves a banana, an empty barrel, a piece of garlic, three gold bars, 7 cosmic runes, 2 fire runes, a hammer-- wait a minute - this is my Runescape quest list. . . Wait. . . Ah ha! Here's the list I made earlier. . .
i is goin to hang miself i am so bord
No! Don't do that! We must be strong! And anyway, the plan won't work without you. Anyway, here's what we're going to need.............
*a few minutes later*
wi do we need a pot of edlerflor
I don't know, ask Dr Hope and Miss Glory. They sounded as if they knew what they were doing. . . I hope they do. I was juswt wondering why we need a banana, pot of elder flower and a picnic basket myself actually. . .
o wel anyway i hat don stewpid post byu by
Yes, we must fly dear ones! Got things to do!
*Miranda jumps heroicly into the hamster wheel. . . .*
yu not goin anywhere
Oh.
*Miranda gets out of the hamster wheel*
Friday, 24 April 2009
Brainwave!
helo it is me agin and i is stil stuck in de sel wif dis stewpid mirand
Hey! I'm not stupid! You're the stupid one for trying to get us outa here by blowing up the boiler!
dat was yur folt
How is it my fault? I was against the stupid plan from the start! Who was it who asked the gaurd to get him a stick of dynitmite?
my invisbl friwnd
I've heard it all now. . . Hey, come to think of it - how come the gaurd at the door just handed us a stick of dynitmite when we asked? How come he had one in his pocket? AND WHY DID THE GAURD LOOK DIFFERENT TO ALL THE OTHERS?!
shtu up i am tring to lisen
Listen to what?! There's nothing to listen to in this pointless, stupid, smelly boiler room! If you can call it that seeing as someone blew up the boiler.
i did dat beecoz bi bloing up da boler i got som wires
And how are wires gunno help this sticky situation?
i hav my ipod
Oh great! Joy of joys! We have an ipod!!! ALL BOW TO THE IPOD THAT'S GOING TO SAVE US!
wel not eggsackly da ipod is rechageing
Oh. Great. Fantastic. Hey, if you've had this ipod the whole time, how come we haven't had anything to listen to?
dat is da reson wi we is not lisening to anythink
Hmph. I jolly well hope that Orlaigh and Mad Monkey hurry up and save us. I can't believe my own BROTHER is threatening to kill us OVER A LIFE TIMES SUPPLY OF STUPID BLOODY GOGOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey git it has rechageed and yu is not lisening
WHAT?! CAN LIFE GET ANY --
SHHHHHH i is tring to lisen
HERE IS WHAT THEY HEARD
SO HADES ARE THEY LOCKED UP SAFELY IN THE BOILER ROOM
Yes zey are. The guard changes every hour.
WHY EVERY HOUR WHY NOT EVERY DAY?
Becuase, when we did change it every day the guard fell asleep on ze job. So now we change it every MINUTE razther than every day.
OH WELL UM SO HAVE YOU GOT MESSY MONKEY, CHEEKY MONKEY AND PINKY MONKEY LOCKED UP?
Of Course sir. We will deal wiz zem later. . .
. . . . . . .
O!
m!
G! They've got Cheeky, Messy and Pinky locked up too! Orlaigh is going to have to be one brave and clever girl to rescue everyone!
o wel
And Mad Monkey of course.
hm yes *ring ring* o helo?.............. mad monkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!........wat?...........oh dam.............mirand
. . .Whaaaat. . .?
orla and mi cosin hav ben cat bi da police for steling
Oh *Miranda utters a digusting swear word which the guard at the door turns round at*
go away yu gurd
Sorry Sir. *The Guard turns away*
What are we going to now? Orlaigh and Mad Monkey were our only hope!
hey stop dis bloggie now cuz mi fone creditt is runing owt
*DUN DUN DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAAAAA*
and yu shut up aswel
Hey! I'm not stupid! You're the stupid one for trying to get us outa here by blowing up the boiler!
dat was yur folt
How is it my fault? I was against the stupid plan from the start! Who was it who asked the gaurd to get him a stick of dynitmite?
my invisbl friwnd
I've heard it all now. . . Hey, come to think of it - how come the gaurd at the door just handed us a stick of dynitmite when we asked? How come he had one in his pocket? AND WHY DID THE GAURD LOOK DIFFERENT TO ALL THE OTHERS?!
shtu up i am tring to lisen
Listen to what?! There's nothing to listen to in this pointless, stupid, smelly boiler room! If you can call it that seeing as someone blew up the boiler.
i did dat beecoz bi bloing up da boler i got som wires
And how are wires gunno help this sticky situation?
i hav my ipod
Oh great! Joy of joys! We have an ipod!!! ALL BOW TO THE IPOD THAT'S GOING TO SAVE US!
wel not eggsackly da ipod is rechageing
Oh. Great. Fantastic. Hey, if you've had this ipod the whole time, how come we haven't had anything to listen to?
dat is da reson wi we is not lisening to anythink
Hmph. I jolly well hope that Orlaigh and Mad Monkey hurry up and save us. I can't believe my own BROTHER is threatening to kill us OVER A LIFE TIMES SUPPLY OF STUPID BLOODY GOGOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey git it has rechageed and yu is not lisening
WHAT?! CAN LIFE GET ANY --
SHHHHHH i is tring to lisen
HERE IS WHAT THEY HEARD
SO HADES ARE THEY LOCKED UP SAFELY IN THE BOILER ROOM
Yes zey are. The guard changes every hour.
WHY EVERY HOUR WHY NOT EVERY DAY?
Becuase, when we did change it every day the guard fell asleep on ze job. So now we change it every MINUTE razther than every day.
OH WELL UM SO HAVE YOU GOT MESSY MONKEY, CHEEKY MONKEY AND PINKY MONKEY LOCKED UP?
Of Course sir. We will deal wiz zem later. . .
. . . . . . .
O!
m!
G! They've got Cheeky, Messy and Pinky locked up too! Orlaigh is going to have to be one brave and clever girl to rescue everyone!
o wel
And Mad Monkey of course.
hm yes *ring ring* o helo?.............. mad monkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!........wat?...........oh dam.............mirand
. . .Whaaaat. . .?
orla and mi cosin hav ben cat bi da police for steling
Oh *Miranda utters a digusting swear word which the guard at the door turns round at*
go away yu gurd
Sorry Sir. *The Guard turns away*
What are we going to now? Orlaigh and Mad Monkey were our only hope!
hey stop dis bloggie now cuz mi fone creditt is runing owt
*DUN DUN DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAAAAA*
and yu shut up aswel
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Stuck in the sell (mircoscopic)
we is stuk in du sel
Well, duh, I mean Gwithian isn't going to just let us out is he?
shut up you menie
Hey! I don't like this either, you know. . . Right that is it. We are going to break out.
how
Bash the door down! Duh!
how do we do dat yu div we is micoscuic (mircoscopic) hey yu spel cheker stop cheking me
He is just doing his job. . .
i hat him
So? What has that got to do with this?!
i hav no ider
Oh well. . .Hey. . .what happened with the darlek? I thought you got caputured?
i hat crismas
Oh no!! The darlek is the same as Hades!!!!
yes yu finaly worked it owt no?
Well, yes but--
yu div
What's a div?
yu ar
Hmm............Hey, what did the darlek do to you?
he tok me and droped gwif and lafed and seid haha you ar in mi powwer no and de darlek through me in what happend to yu
Well, one day Gwithian just knocked me out when I was on Runescape. . .or was I checking my emails?
get on wif it yu div
Where does div come from anyway?
i hav no ider
OK...... anyway I woke up in here. . .
wo....i fansy a chcolat ba
Do you now? Well I think - AHHHH!!!----------------------------------
THEY WERE CUT OFF AS MIRANDAS PHONE CREDIT RAN OUT.
THEIR LIFE MAYBE OVER..
Well, duh, I mean Gwithian isn't going to just let us out is he?
shut up you menie
Hey! I don't like this either, you know. . . Right that is it. We are going to break out.
how
Bash the door down! Duh!
how do we do dat yu div we is micoscuic (mircoscopic) hey yu spel cheker stop cheking me
He is just doing his job. . .
i hat him
So? What has that got to do with this?!
i hav no ider
Oh well. . .Hey. . .what happened with the darlek? I thought you got caputured?
i hat crismas
Oh no!! The darlek is the same as Hades!!!!
yes yu finaly worked it owt no?
Well, yes but--
yu div
What's a div?
yu ar
Hmm............Hey, what did the darlek do to you?
he tok me and droped gwif and lafed and seid haha you ar in mi powwer no and de darlek through me in what happend to yu
Well, one day Gwithian just knocked me out when I was on Runescape. . .or was I checking my emails?
get on wif it yu div
Where does div come from anyway?
i hav no ider
OK...... anyway I woke up in here. . .
wo....i fansy a chcolat ba
Do you now? Well I think - AHHHH!!!----------------------------------
THEY WERE CUT OFF AS MIRANDAS PHONE CREDIT RAN OUT.
THEIR LIFE MAYBE OVER..
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Darlek!!!
At this very moment a darlek is invading! you see mooney monkey got the darlek for his birthday!!!!!!!!
oh crap
Exterminate!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!.....
HE IS STUNNED KILL THE MONKEY.
O NO U DONET THICKO
EXTERMINATE BZZZZZZZ HE IS STUNNED. OTHER DARLEKS, DARLEK THAY
READY
DARLEK CAAN
READY
DARLEK SEC
READY, CARRY PRISONERS TO THE SHIP, AND FIND THE DOCTER
oh crap
Exterminate!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!.....
HE IS STUNNED KILL THE MONKEY.
O NO U DONET THICKO
EXTERMINATE BZZZZZZZ HE IS STUNNED. OTHER DARLEKS, DARLEK THAY
READY
DARLEK CAAN
READY
DARLEK SEC
READY, CARRY PRISONERS TO THE SHIP, AND FIND THE DOCTER
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
New Post
helo i am mooney monkey! and i hav a coosin caled mad monkey. and he is the best monkey in the wolrd!
Hi i am Gwithian, and just to warn you mooney moonkey can't spell either.
yes i can u dimwit
it's my birthday soon!!!!!!!!
and mine
yes yours but...
i getting a dalek for birfday!
No your not, no one will ever get you a darlek (to myself) what about mad monkey?.....AHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS MESSAGE IS OUT. sorry i have sleepingistis
I wil get a dalek and thre is nofing u can do.
oh dear.
anewaa i am going to show you birfday list
MOONEY MONKEYS BIRFDAY LIST
1 Darlek
2 Al da money in da wolrd
3 big spots (Sports) ca
(this is the one i fear the most) 4 wolrd domation
5 Mega monkey gun 3000
6 water boms wif gwifs nam on it (gulp)
7 one of mad monkeys dogs (doom!)
8 paln to kil gwif (ahhhhh!)
9 jams bond gadgets (i hope that doesn't include the posion heeled shoe!)
10 misale lancher 3000
I think i will just pop out to the shops and find this...(Gwith gos out door and immidietly comes back in again) sorry nothing there!
der is u thicko
(to self) oh the shame of having a PG tips monkey....
wat was dat?
nothing!
it beter be other wis i wil bet u up in to litle pices!
(gulp)
Hi i am Gwithian, and just to warn you mooney moonkey can't spell either.
yes i can u dimwit
it's my birthday soon!!!!!!!!
and mine
yes yours but...
i getting a dalek for birfday!
No your not, no one will ever get you a darlek (to myself) what about mad monkey?.....AHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS MESSAGE IS OUT. sorry i have sleepingistis
I wil get a dalek and thre is nofing u can do.
oh dear.
anewaa i am going to show you birfday list
MOONEY MONKEYS BIRFDAY LIST
1 Darlek
2 Al da money in da wolrd
3 big spots (Sports) ca
(this is the one i fear the most) 4 wolrd domation
5 Mega monkey gun 3000
6 water boms wif gwifs nam on it (gulp)
7 one of mad monkeys dogs (doom!)
8 paln to kil gwif (ahhhhh!)
9 jams bond gadgets (i hope that doesn't include the posion heeled shoe!)
10 misale lancher 3000
I think i will just pop out to the shops and find this...(Gwith gos out door and immidietly comes back in again) sorry nothing there!
der is u thicko
(to self) oh the shame of having a PG tips monkey....
wat was dat?
nothing!
it beter be other wis i wil bet u up in to litle pices!
(gulp)
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